I Hate You
by SteampunkAngel86
Summary: A Spamano fic, some swearing, character death, and depression. Sorry if either characters seem a little ooc. Enjoy! :)


SpainxRomano: I Hate You

"Lovino?"

A small boy with amber eyes glanced up at the speaker; his normally lively olive eyes were pale and empty of any emotion. A taller male of about the same age looked down at Lovino, his emerald eyes full of concern and confusion. "Lovi? What's wrong?"

Lovino didn't respond as he stared numbly at the other boy, the other's lips twisted into a frown and his brows furrowed. "Lovino, talk to me." He said, laying his hand on Lovi's shoulder. The smaller one flinched and wrenched his shoulder from the others grasp, forcing himself up from his perch on a park bench and in the opposite direction of the other.

"Lovino!" The other yelped in confusion and hurt grabbing at the smaller boys wrist. "Tell me what's wrong! What happened to you?"

Lovino whirled on him, his eyes stormy and full of rage. And betrayal. "Don't ever speak to me again, Antonio Carriedo." He hissed, wrenching his hand out of Antonio's and sprinting off in the other direction, leaving the Spaniard standing there, stunned.

"L…Lovino…" He murmured in sadness. What had happened to his friend? It had only been a couple of days since he'd last seen him…

With a scowl Antonio snatched his phone from his pocket and dialed a number, it took two tries before the recipient finally decided to answer.

"Ve, ciao?" A tired Italian voice greeted from the other end.

"Feli? Can you do me a favor?"

It had been two days since Lovino had been seen, after Toni had found him in the park Lovi hadn't returned home as expected. Everyone had been on the search for the eldest Vargas brother but so far no one had any luck.

Toni was pacing up and down the path where he had seen Lovi two days before, trying to think where he could have gone; though that wasn't the only thing troubling the Spaniard.

What exactly had happened while Toni had been out of town? He'd only been gone for three days and now Lovino hated him…why? Sure Lovi got angry at him sometimes but he'd never done anything as drastic as this! There had never been so much anger and hurt in Lovi's eyes, no matter how angry he was.

Toni paused in his pacing only long enough to pull his ringing phone out of his pocket.

"Hello?" He asked.

"It's me."

"Lovino?!" Toni's eyes widened and his grip on the phone tightened, as if it were Lovino. "Where are you? What's going on? Why did you run away?"

"Can-" The Italian boy's voice cracked, like he was about to cry. "Can you just come see me? Come see me and I'll explain everything."

"Of course, of course, where are you?"

"You remember that old creek you showed me? I'm at the bridge."

Toni felt his heart sink, why was he at the bridge? "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"And Toni…" Lovi took a deep breath. "Please come alone."

Antonio felt a pit forming in his stomach, something was very wrong with Lovino.

"O-of course, whatever you want Lovi." He said. "I'll be there soon."

Lovino ended the call but Toni stood there for a moment, debating. He could call Feli and Ludwig to help him talk Lovi out of whatever he was thinking, or he could go alone and try to talk Lovi out of it. There were risks to both.

Toni made his decision and started for the old bridge on the south side of town.

Lovino was sitting alone, balanced atop the hand rail of the bridge, looking glumly down at the slow moving water a good fifty feet beneath him. Mud and foliage swirled in the shallow creek and a crisp breeze swept across him. The amber haired boy didn't even bother looking up as he heard footsteps approaching him.

"Lovino?"

Lovi turned his head, seeing Antonio standing a few feet from him.

"You look like hell." The Italian boy remarked, and that Toni did. The Spaniard's deep brown curls were wild and there were dark circles under his bright emerald eyes.

Toni frowned, definitely not the greeting he was expecting. "Lovi, get down from there."

Lovino shook his head. "I don't want to." He glanced down at the water. "I like this view, the creek reminds me of myself."

Toni almost seemed scared to ask "Wh-what do you mean?"

Lovi twirled the curl that stuck out on the right side of his head. "Ugly, dirty, worthless, pathetic, slow, unloved." Rage filled every word and Toni's eyes lit with anger.

"Lovino Vargas, you are none of those things!"

Lovino snorted. "You say that, you're Mr. Perfect! Everybody loves you!"

Antonio recoiled a bit. "Lovi, I'm not perfect in any way! You're amazing and witty and funny and smart and very, very loved!"

Lovino's eyes turned to slits as he sneered at the older boy. "You're lying! My grandfather didn't love me! My fratello doesn't love me! Everyone in this town _hates_ me!"

"That's not true!" Antonio snapped and Lovi laughed bitterly.

"Oh it's not? Why else would everybody leave me? Why else would they say the things they say to me?"

"Lovino…" Antonio's voice was quiet in shock and an underlying rage. "what do you mean? Who's said anything to you? What do they say to you?"

Lovino's eyes widened at what he had revealed and he turned away from his friend's gaze. "Nothing, just forget it, it's not important."

Antonio crossed the distance between them within two steps and angrily grasped Lovino's chin and made the other face him. "Everything is important concerning you, Lovino." Toni's voice was quiet and serious and angry. Lovi shivered.

"Why do you care, stupid bastard?" The Italian hissed.

"Because I care about you, you idiot!" Toni screamed. Finally the dam Lovi had spent so much time building up inside him broke and the anger and betrayal finally broke free and rushed through his veins.

"No you don't!" The Italian boy screamed, his voice anguished as tears raced down his gaunt cheeks. "You're lying! Just like everyone else I've ever trusted! You don't care about me! You just want our money like your stupid friend did! All you want is to use me, just like everyone else! I hate you! I hate you, you stupid asshole!"

Antonio looked stunned before sadness filled his expression. "Is that really what you think of me?" Lovino wouldn't meet his eyes. "Do you honestly think that I would use you? Do you honestly think that I'm just after your money?"

Lovino remained silent.

"Lovino…I would never, _ever_, even consider doing any of that to you. I couldn't do that to you. You mean so much more to me than you even know."

Lovino looked up at that, tears still streaking down his face. "Why?" He sobbed. "What am I to yo-"

At that precise moment Lovino finally turned too far and his balance was lost. Lovi grasped for purchase on the bridge rail and Toni leapt to grab him, only to be pulled over the side.

_One heartbeat passed._

Lovi screamed in shock as he and Antonio free-fell towards the creek fifty feet below. Toni's tanned arms found Lovino's waist and pulled the smaller boy into his chest, Toni turned so his back was to the creek.

_Two heartbeats._

Lovino heard him yell something, barely audible over the wind that rushed into his ears. Lovi's eyes widened and he managed to glimpse Toni's content smile.

_Impact_

_Blackness._

There was a quiet beeping that rang in Lovino's ears, at first the small Italian couldn't feel anything but slowly his senses came back. Lovi groaned, he felt like one giant bruise.

"F-fratello?" A quiet voice asked. Lovino cracked open an eye to meet the pale amber ones of his younger brothers.

"Fe-Feliciano?" He murmured, wincing at the pain of even that movement.

"Lovi!" Feli wailed collecting the older brother in a hug that sent pain rocketing through his body. Feli was shaking with relieved sobs. "Fratello, we were so worried about you! We didn't think you were going to make it! I was so scared I was going to be left alone ve!"

"Feli… what are you talking about?" Lovino murmured.

"Wh-when you and T-Toni f-fell off the b-bridge." Feli hiccuped.

"Feliciano." A rough voice rumbled and the younger male was pulled off Lovi, and a pair of sky blue eyes were revealed. "Ludwig? What's going on?"

"Lovino, what all do you remember?"

"I remember I fell." Finally it came back, he and Toni on the bridge screaming at each other and their freefall into the creek. A panicked gaze filled Lovi's eyes "Where is Toni?"

Silence was his answer.

"No… no. No!" He screamed "Where is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo?! Where is he?!"

Feli burst into tears once again and Ludwig was quiet with his answer. "He didn't survive the fall. I'm sorry, Lovino."

Lovino didn't remember how long he screamed or what he was screaming, all he remembered was when the doctors and nurses rushed in and tried to calm him down. Lovi fought them, trying to keep them as far away as possible but every small movement hurt and there was only so much he could do before they finally managed to pin him down and inject anesthetics into his blood.

As the medicine finally took over Lovi's mind drifted back to that day on the bridge, how long had it been? A few hours? A day? A week? How long had Toni been dead? The scene replayed in his mind before it landed on the part that almost stopped his heart. Toni's screamed words over the wind…what were they? Lovi fought to remember though the harder he tried they just wouldn't come. It wasn't until later that he finally remembered.

_Lovino Vargas, I love you!_


End file.
